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Jokes
Dec 9, 2008 7:13:52 GMT -8
Post by Darth Malificus on Dec 9, 2008 7:13:52 GMT -8
If you think you got'em then bring'em.
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Jokes
Dec 21, 2008 7:04:47 GMT -8
Post by Darth Malificus on Dec 21, 2008 7:04:47 GMT -8
A man is driveing down the street when he comes up to a stop sign. He looks around and see no one. So he slows down and keeps going. About a block latter he gets pulled over by a cop. The cop walks up to the mans window and asks "You did not stop at that stop sign back there. Why?" The man says "There was no one around so i just slowed down." "Sir, could you please step out of your car?" the cop asks. The man steps out of his car. Then the cop takes out his club and starts beating the shit out of the man. After about ten minutes he asks. "Would you like me to stop? or slow down?"
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Jokes
Feb 19, 2009 8:54:10 GMT -8
Post by Ascending_1 on Feb 19, 2009 8:54:10 GMT -8
Hippie And The Nun
One day a hippie gets a ride on a public bus and sees a hot young nun. He sits down next to her and promptly asks if she would like to have sex, to which she immediately says no and walks off the bus. The bus driver leans over and says “Hey guy I know how to get that nun to have sex with you…”
Naturally the hippie asks, and the bus driver tells him that every night at midnight the nun goes to an old graveyard to pray for god to forgive her for her past, and that he should dress up like god and tell the nun she will be forgiven if she has sex with you.
The hippie gives his thanks and runs to the nearest costume shop.
Later that evening the hippie gets ready for his big night and drives down to the graveyard and sees the nun praying, on her knees. He says “Behold, I have heard your prayers and you shall be forgiven if you have sex with me!”
The nun agrees but asks if they can have anal sex in order to keep her virginity. The hippie agrees and once they are finished the hippie jumps back and pulls off his mask and says “Surpise, its me the Hippie!”
The nun jumps up and pulls off her mask and says “Surprise, its me the bus driver!”
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Jokes
Feb 19, 2009 13:43:48 GMT -8
Post by Trask Largero on Feb 19, 2009 13:43:48 GMT -8
Bumper stickers
I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
I wasn't born a bitch. Men like you made me this way.
Keep honking while I reload.
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.
Your child may be an honor student but you're still an idiot.
If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.
Jack Kevorkian for White House physician.
Just say no! to sex with pro-lifers.
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her...or something like that.
Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
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Jokes
Mar 4, 2009 18:33:20 GMT -8
Post by Darth Malificus on Mar 4, 2009 18:33:20 GMT -8
One day Chuck Norris was haveing sex in a semi truck. Some how some sperm got into the engine block. That Truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
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Jokes
Mar 5, 2009 10:01:19 GMT -8
Post by Ascending_1 on Mar 5, 2009 10:01:19 GMT -8
Turner Brown
Kramer goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, “7 feet tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch thingy, testicles 3 lbs each, Turner Brown”.
Kramer just faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him. He asks, “Are you Ok?”
In a very weak voice Kramer says, “Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?” The big dude says, “When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I’d give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. “I’m 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs, have a 20 inch thingy, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each, and my name is Turner Brown.”
Kramer said, “Oh Thank God! I thought you said ‘Turn Around’”
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